She’s a naughty girl
She says I’m selfish
Cos after dinner
I never wash a dish

She’s a naughty girl
She gets out a lot
And when she feels sad
She just gives me head

But when we turn the light off
She’s thousands miles away

She’s a lovely girl
Never thinks ‘bout sex
So after three months
I’m still addicted to kleenex

She’s a lovely girl
Never talks ‘bout shags
And when you think it’s done
She produces and hashish fag

And when we turn the light off
She turns her head around

(When I’m in your house I think of shrimps and crabs
Swimming in an unsalty sea

But then I see the pigeons
And I shoot them down with an imaginary stellar shotgun)